JM Goes Camping
Who goes camping for their bachelor party?
Posted on July 11, 2005 at 08:20:39 AM by Joe Mama
I went camping Tuesday afternoon – this was the "bachelor party" portion of a wedding being held Saturday in which I was one of two Best Men (the groom, a buddy since high school, had his brother and I acting as co-Best Men).
I didn't play a part in the planning of the bachelor party. It was horrific. Just a bunch of dudes getting wasted, eating poorly and getting devoured by bugs.
3 friends and I drove about 3 hours East of Toronto to a spot called Gananoque, home of the "1000 Islands". Yippie. From Gananoque, we had a houseboat rented and the plan was to find a campsite on one of the islands and party. Yippie. I hurled off the back of the boat on our way to the campsite. I was going pretty hard. Felt great after the hurl, and ended up given'er until about 5 in the morning. At that
point, I crawled in to the shitty little tent someone brought for me (they know I don't do camping), tried to pretend I didn't see about a dozen hairy and fucking huge spiders in there with me, and slept until 8 in the morning, at which point I was woken up by ACDC and a joint. Good morning.
Camping sucks. I didn't shit days. WTF am I going to do? Use that fucking outhouse type thing in the woods? Fuck that. I'll hold it. I'm covered in bug bites – last night I counted 19 on my things and ass alone. Nine-fucking-teen. Also, camping food sucks. You can only eat so many dogs and shit before you need a fucking normal meal. Long story short – It's not that I'm a "city boy", although I am, it's that I'm an "amenities" boy. Why the fuck do I wanna live like a pioneer when the Gananoque Inn across the lake has a great restaurant, fluffy pillows and hot showers? Camping is lame. I honestly don't get the appeal. True, the stars look real nice. BFD. A mosquito is biting my balls and an ember just landed on my foot and I'm cold and hung-over and I'm rolling a joint on a picnic table with the aid of a flashlight
and all my clothes now smell like ass and there is no corner store in sight but hey – the stars look awesome! Fuck the stars and fuck camping.
So that was the bachelor party. Yippie. 12 guys and one chick (she is basically a guy, so really it was like 13 guys) in the woods for 2 days. I doubt Ms. Mama and I will ever walk down the aisle, but if we do, none of those dipshits are planning my bachelor party.
Posted on July 11, 2005 at 08:20:39 AM by Joe Mama
I went camping Tuesday afternoon – this was the "bachelor party" portion of a wedding being held Saturday in which I was one of two Best Men (the groom, a buddy since high school, had his brother and I acting as co-Best Men).
I didn't play a part in the planning of the bachelor party. It was horrific. Just a bunch of dudes getting wasted, eating poorly and getting devoured by bugs.
3 friends and I drove about 3 hours East of Toronto to a spot called Gananoque, home of the "1000 Islands". Yippie. From Gananoque, we had a houseboat rented and the plan was to find a campsite on one of the islands and party. Yippie. I hurled off the back of the boat on our way to the campsite. I was going pretty hard. Felt great after the hurl, and ended up given'er until about 5 in the morning. At that
point, I crawled in to the shitty little tent someone brought for me (they know I don't do camping), tried to pretend I didn't see about a dozen hairy and fucking huge spiders in there with me, and slept until 8 in the morning, at which point I was woken up by ACDC and a joint. Good morning.
Camping sucks. I didn't shit days. WTF am I going to do? Use that fucking outhouse type thing in the woods? Fuck that. I'll hold it. I'm covered in bug bites – last night I counted 19 on my things and ass alone. Nine-fucking-teen. Also, camping food sucks. You can only eat so many dogs and shit before you need a fucking normal meal. Long story short – It's not that I'm a "city boy", although I am, it's that I'm an "amenities" boy. Why the fuck do I wanna live like a pioneer when the Gananoque Inn across the lake has a great restaurant, fluffy pillows and hot showers? Camping is lame. I honestly don't get the appeal. True, the stars look real nice. BFD. A mosquito is biting my balls and an ember just landed on my foot and I'm cold and hung-over and I'm rolling a joint on a picnic table with the aid of a flashlight
and all my clothes now smell like ass and there is no corner store in sight but hey – the stars look awesome! Fuck the stars and fuck camping.
So that was the bachelor party. Yippie. 12 guys and one chick (she is basically a guy, so really it was like 13 guys) in the woods for 2 days. I doubt Ms. Mama and I will ever walk down the aisle, but if we do, none of those dipshits are planning my bachelor party.
posted by Salomé at 11:21 AM
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