JM's answers to his poll
This is a mild poll that Joe actually put up and then decided to answer,too. Some of the questions will be unintelligible to most of you (like about ZEKE and Shumway.) Don't bother. Others will be appallingly esoteric. Shield your minds.
Post Title Unknown Posted by Joe Mama, September 10, 2004
Does anybody here actually own Folgers Crystals®?
Nope. Never even seen them anywhere but on TV commercials.
What is a “Bronx Cheer”? Flipping the bird or something?
Hank told me the answer. Didn’t realize it was the same thing as a
“Raspberry”.
How many of you own a gun or guns?
Nope. Mrs. Mama would never let me. I don’t hunt or have any interest in
hunting, just for security, whatever that means. If someone breaks into my
house, I’ve got a bat. If they’ve got a gun, I’ve got to use the wife as a
human shield. This is the price she has to pay for not allowing me to shoot back.
Should I feel guilty spending so much time hanging with the Victards when I’m getting paid by the hour?
Kinda, ya, but like everything else I do wrong, I’ll get over it. When I was salaried, it was no biggie, because I got paid “X” to do “Y” and as long as “Y” was done, no worries. Now it just feels weird because I’m making more than I ever have and I’ll piss away an hour here and go “Whoa! I should *do* something”. I’ll work through these new found feelings. This human emotion you call 'guilt' is strange to me.
If you could sleep with one woman, living or dead (you sick necrophiliac!)
who would it be (pretend you’re not happily married to the best woman on the planet for one second)?
This will take months of contemplation. I need to narrow the list down from 363 down to one. OTTOMH I’d go with Jessica Simpson (sorry, but a skinny D cup with the face of an angel gets me every time. Her big doe eyes call my name…Joe Mama…Joe Mama…I am incomplete and sexually unsatisfied without you…Joe Mama…) and again, the rack is spectacular. Also, she’s still got pretty low KM (that’s mileage for all of you). Of course, she’s just my crush right now. Other crushes have included Olivia Newton-John (the final scene in Grease), Jenna Jamison in the late 90’s, Julie Montgomery (aka Miss Betty Childs, Pi-Delta-Pi), Rebecca DeMornay, Shania Twain (volume off), the women on the 20-Minute Workout (from 1983-1985 they changed my life, 20 minutes at a time), Devon (thank you Mabee for reminding me about that smoking piece of ass) and about 30 other porno type people, Pamela (doye!) and others like the chick who played Daisy Duke and stuff. Fuck, now Davepy brings up Michelle Pfeiffer. And Hurryup mentions Catherine Z-J…she might be the top of my list. This will take time to figure out.
When was the last time you did a shot and what was it?
Grappa, Saturday. I really like Tequila too, but I love my Grappa.
Does the fact that Dave Navarro gets to sleep with Carmen Electra whenever
he wants make you question the existence of a higher power?
Yes. Very much.
Did you lose a little respect, or a lot of respect, for Shumway for mixing
up Burns and Smithers with the Troglodyte quote? (Alternate: I had no
respect for Shum prior to that gaffe) A little, but we all make mistakes. Usually they aren’t so horrendous and glaring, but I still (kinda) like him.
Friday night: Six-pack or a bottle of wine? (Alternative #1: 12-pack or 2
bottles of wine for the party people? Alternative #2: A few Zima or some
lattes for those on the West Coast?)
12-pack (and a fatty for good measure)
When and why did Zeke get so…I dunno…non-confrontational? Don’t get me
wrong, I’m diggin’ it, but what happened there?
I’m guessing he really found Jeebus or whatever.
Will your wife or family watch the ND game with you? Is that your choice or theirs?
Yes – Mrs. Mama loves game day and loves football and loves Michigan
football especially so I love her. Mostly. My dad and I will talk on the
phone about 6 times during the game.
Crème or milk?
Crème, or cream. Whatever.
CBS documents: Real or Fake?
Looking more and more like fake.
Drea de Matteo…hot or not?
Hot. Her body is outrageous. Her face isn’t perfect, but I can live with
that.
Who’s dick would you rather be (from 1987-1994): Cory Haim’s or Corey
Feldman’s?
I could go either way. Those kids had some serious fun. Feldman is a fucking whiny self-absorbed pretentious little bitch though, and I’d like to tune him, so I guess I’ll go with Haim (who is from Toronto too, I believe). Jabarkas – you’ve got your Cory’s crossed. How embarrassing! Also, Mabeee with nice work recognizing that Haim was pegging Nicole Eggert.
Percentage of the time you give a panhandler “spare” change?
Used to be often, now hardly ever. Never to kids. Fuck the kids. Only to
women and old women at that. The kind that you know have a 50/50 chance of
living through the winter. Fuck the kids. Get jobs. Go home. Go to a
shelter. Go to Children Aid. Whatever. You are out here b/c you want to be. There are tons of options for you. Not so many for the 60 year old crazy lady.
One board or two?
one, but goddamn I’d love to see more length to the page. What are you gonna do?
Post Title Unknown Posted by Joe Mama, September 10, 2004
Does anybody here actually own Folgers Crystals®?
Nope. Never even seen them anywhere but on TV commercials.
What is a “Bronx Cheer”? Flipping the bird or something?
Hank told me the answer. Didn’t realize it was the same thing as a
“Raspberry”.
How many of you own a gun or guns?
Nope. Mrs. Mama would never let me. I don’t hunt or have any interest in
hunting, just for security, whatever that means. If someone breaks into my
house, I’ve got a bat. If they’ve got a gun, I’ve got to use the wife as a
human shield. This is the price she has to pay for not allowing me to shoot back.
Should I feel guilty spending so much time hanging with the Victards when I’m getting paid by the hour?
Kinda, ya, but like everything else I do wrong, I’ll get over it. When I was salaried, it was no biggie, because I got paid “X” to do “Y” and as long as “Y” was done, no worries. Now it just feels weird because I’m making more than I ever have and I’ll piss away an hour here and go “Whoa! I should *do* something”. I’ll work through these new found feelings. This human emotion you call 'guilt' is strange to me.
If you could sleep with one woman, living or dead (you sick necrophiliac!)
who would it be (pretend you’re not happily married to the best woman on the planet for one second)?
This will take months of contemplation. I need to narrow the list down from 363 down to one. OTTOMH I’d go with Jessica Simpson (sorry, but a skinny D cup with the face of an angel gets me every time. Her big doe eyes call my name…Joe Mama…Joe Mama…I am incomplete and sexually unsatisfied without you…Joe Mama…) and again, the rack is spectacular. Also, she’s still got pretty low KM (that’s mileage for all of you). Of course, she’s just my crush right now. Other crushes have included Olivia Newton-John (the final scene in Grease), Jenna Jamison in the late 90’s, Julie Montgomery (aka Miss Betty Childs, Pi-Delta-Pi), Rebecca DeMornay, Shania Twain (volume off), the women on the 20-Minute Workout (from 1983-1985 they changed my life, 20 minutes at a time), Devon (thank you Mabee for reminding me about that smoking piece of ass) and about 30 other porno type people, Pamela (doye!) and others like the chick who played Daisy Duke and stuff. Fuck, now Davepy brings up Michelle Pfeiffer. And Hurryup mentions Catherine Z-J…she might be the top of my list. This will take time to figure out.
When was the last time you did a shot and what was it?
Grappa, Saturday. I really like Tequila too, but I love my Grappa.
Does the fact that Dave Navarro gets to sleep with Carmen Electra whenever
he wants make you question the existence of a higher power?
Yes. Very much.
Did you lose a little respect, or a lot of respect, for Shumway for mixing
up Burns and Smithers with the Troglodyte quote? (Alternate: I had no
respect for Shum prior to that gaffe) A little, but we all make mistakes. Usually they aren’t so horrendous and glaring, but I still (kinda) like him.
Friday night: Six-pack or a bottle of wine? (Alternative #1: 12-pack or 2
bottles of wine for the party people? Alternative #2: A few Zima or some
lattes for those on the West Coast?)
12-pack (and a fatty for good measure)
When and why did Zeke get so…I dunno…non-confrontational? Don’t get me
wrong, I’m diggin’ it, but what happened there?
I’m guessing he really found Jeebus or whatever.
Will your wife or family watch the ND game with you? Is that your choice or theirs?
Yes – Mrs. Mama loves game day and loves football and loves Michigan
football especially so I love her. Mostly. My dad and I will talk on the
phone about 6 times during the game.
Crème or milk?
Crème, or cream. Whatever.
CBS documents: Real or Fake?
Looking more and more like fake.
Drea de Matteo…hot or not?
Hot. Her body is outrageous. Her face isn’t perfect, but I can live with
that.
Who’s dick would you rather be (from 1987-1994): Cory Haim’s or Corey
Feldman’s?
I could go either way. Those kids had some serious fun. Feldman is a fucking whiny self-absorbed pretentious little bitch though, and I’d like to tune him, so I guess I’ll go with Haim (who is from Toronto too, I believe). Jabarkas – you’ve got your Cory’s crossed. How embarrassing! Also, Mabeee with nice work recognizing that Haim was pegging Nicole Eggert.
Percentage of the time you give a panhandler “spare” change?
Used to be often, now hardly ever. Never to kids. Fuck the kids. Only to
women and old women at that. The kind that you know have a 50/50 chance of
living through the winter. Fuck the kids. Get jobs. Go home. Go to a
shelter. Go to Children Aid. Whatever. You are out here b/c you want to be. There are tons of options for you. Not so many for the 60 year old crazy lady.
One board or two?
one, but goddamn I’d love to see more length to the page. What are you gonna do?
posted by Salomé at 12:02 PM
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