On the topic of Mrs. Mama

On why he's still just engaged and not married:

She's a sexier Maude Flanders, I'm a slimmer Homer Simpson.

Posted on January 21, 2005 at 01:04:07 PM by Joe Mama

At first, we offset one another beautifully. Over time, however, the
things we liked about one another have become relationship
liabilities.

She's all about Jesus. I'm on a highway to hell (and I'm loving the
trip). She doesn't like, quote bible verses or anything (we'd have
never hooked up, if that were the case) but Catholicism/God is very
important to her. I have a legitimate disdain for organized religion.
So we've got that hurdle.

Her family is also very important to her, but they drive me fucking
nuts. It's also kinda foreign to me because my family isn't that
close, and we're all OK with that. We talk and shit, but we're not all
in each others business every damn day. So, ya, there's that hurdle
too.

She likes a healthy lifestyle. I'm a bit of a mental patient with a
lust for everything harmful. She likes peace and puppies and cuddles.
I love booze and strippers and ass sex. She's a tiger in the boudoir,
but Maude Flanders outside of it. I'm a straight guy in the office,
and a "How many brain cells can I pop tonight?" kinda guy outside of
it.

Everything she likes is safe and makes "sense". Everything I like is
basically self-destructive and foolish (again, I'm fully aware of
this, and embrace it, so whatever)

I think we'll be engaged for the duration of our relationship.