Rating the Co-eds
Joe Mama's girls
This post has an intersting follow up. The girls in the picture actually found out about JM's post, below and were plenty upset. JM had the grace to feel terrible. This is one reason why I think he must actually be a decent guy.
Re: Rating the coeds
Posted on December 7, 2004 by Joe Mama
I've said it before: I always see fine booty when in AA. Always. Now
some will claim they all used to be fugly. To that, sir, I say you
were too sober. Also, my mom was there early-mid 60's so there was at
least one hottie you missed out on. I'm kidding…she was so crazy
square it's a miracle I'm not Rod/Todd.
Anyhow, above, L to R…(I've titled this gang the "Softy Crew" b/c all
of their arms look like the old chicks I work with or something…soft
and kinda hangy and just yuck.
Chick 1 - Nope! Are you kidding me? She was the fugly friend of the
chick you wanted who just wouldn't FOAD. And when you finally got the
hottie alone, this chick managed to find you about a minute before you
were going to "finish" (on a fire escape in an alley 7 blocks away, no
less) and fuck everything up by saying shit like "Christy, you don't
even know this guy and you've got a boyfriend! What about Jimmy? We
need to go home. C'mon Christy. Think about Jimmy! You're wearing his
chain! Let's go!" – H8ed that cock-blocker.
Chick 2 – Nope. Not doing anything for me. Also, awful hands. Get some
color polish on those nails, Suzy McSausageFingers, and I might notice
you in a crowd. Your shirt sucks too, and if I notice, as a guy who
really doesn't care, it must really suck ass.
Chick 3 – Nope. What is on her right forearm? Scratches? A cry for
attention? What? Maybe if you painted those nails like you actually
wanted a man, I'd stop looking at your scratched up forearm. What is
with these chicks? Don't they know how to slut it up? Not nearly
enough make up here. All flaw and no cover up.
*So far, each of these chicks looks only a few years away from doing
some serious porking up. These chicks are too young to be that
undefined in the arms. Doesn't anyone give hand jobs anymore? WTF?
*Bonus bizarro story – when I was in grade 8, I was at a house party
and was under the effects of LSD. I hooked up (somehow) with a chick
(Amy…she had a full-on woman rack in grade 8) and she ended up going
yanky on my wanky behind a couch. Long story short, I kept getting
mentally sidetracked due to the acid (was is that over there? Did
something just move? Look at the colors!) so she basically had to
start tugging from scratch about 10 times…about 45 minutes later (no
joke) I "finished". She had to switch arms so many times it was scary.
*That*, my friends, keeps those arms from looking like the arms
pictured above. The only words I remember Amy ever saying…ever…is
"Does cum come out of sweaters?" as she approached her friends in the
kitchen immediately after our tug-fest. No idea what happened to her,
but I should try to recall her last name and see if she's down with a
45-minute rub fest.
Chick 4 - Hell ya! I'll take chick #4 b/c I think she's got a cute and
innocent face. She reminds me very much of my nephews wife. Mmmmmm…she
is so hot (his wife, not picture chick) I was mentally banging that
even as she walked down the aisle. My nephew, a decent-at-best looking
dude, won the booty lottery. This chick looks like her, so she's my
#1.
Chick 5 – I'd go there for the crazy factor. She looks squirrely as
all hell. Judging by the psycho killer look in her eyes, I'd say she's
mentally trapped in a world of shrill baby screams and deafening
basslines. I dig that. She's an animal. Seems tall, but hard to gauge
in this picture. Doesn't matter. She's better than options 1-3, not as
good as 4 or 6.
Chick 6 – Nothing super special or anything, but I'd go there for
sure. She looks like she's got money. She looks like she drives a new
VW rabbit (HS grad gift from the folks) with a plate that says
"4DABRAT" or something. Gag me with a spoon.
________________________
[Ed. Note: This was followed by a brief exchange about how girl #3
may have been tracking the number of drinks she'd had on her arm and
someone mentioned how you're "supposed" to do 21 shots on your
birthday. Craig stepped in to say that was seriously wrong, because
your BA level would probably be about .4 or something outrageous after
doing 21 shots. Below is Joe's reply:
________________________
Yabut...
Posted on December 7, 2004 at 02:40:55 PM by Joe Mama
I doubt it's 21 actual shot shot type of shots. No 21 y.o. chick is
knocking back 21 shots of JD or anything.
It's those faggy, fruity bar shots that are 10% vodka and 90% juice
and have names like "Blazing sex on the hood of a Pinto parked by the
beach on fire". Gay (Not the NTTAWWT kind of gay, but "gay" gay) shots
made for chicks so they can say "I drank 21 shooters and didn't die".
Find me a 21 y.o. chick who can knock back 21 shots of Tequilla and
you've found me my next wife.
This post has an intersting follow up. The girls in the picture actually found out about JM's post, below and were plenty upset. JM had the grace to feel terrible. This is one reason why I think he must actually be a decent guy.
Re: Rating the coeds
Posted on December 7, 2004 by Joe Mama
I've said it before: I always see fine booty when in AA. Always. Now
some will claim they all used to be fugly. To that, sir, I say you
were too sober. Also, my mom was there early-mid 60's so there was at
least one hottie you missed out on. I'm kidding…she was so crazy
square it's a miracle I'm not Rod/Todd.
Anyhow, above, L to R…(I've titled this gang the "Softy Crew" b/c all
of their arms look like the old chicks I work with or something…soft
and kinda hangy and just yuck.
Chick 1 - Nope! Are you kidding me? She was the fugly friend of the
chick you wanted who just wouldn't FOAD. And when you finally got the
hottie alone, this chick managed to find you about a minute before you
were going to "finish" (on a fire escape in an alley 7 blocks away, no
less) and fuck everything up by saying shit like "Christy, you don't
even know this guy and you've got a boyfriend! What about Jimmy? We
need to go home. C'mon Christy. Think about Jimmy! You're wearing his
chain! Let's go!" – H8ed that cock-blocker.
Chick 2 – Nope. Not doing anything for me. Also, awful hands. Get some
color polish on those nails, Suzy McSausageFingers, and I might notice
you in a crowd. Your shirt sucks too, and if I notice, as a guy who
really doesn't care, it must really suck ass.
Chick 3 – Nope. What is on her right forearm? Scratches? A cry for
attention? What? Maybe if you painted those nails like you actually
wanted a man, I'd stop looking at your scratched up forearm. What is
with these chicks? Don't they know how to slut it up? Not nearly
enough make up here. All flaw and no cover up.
*So far, each of these chicks looks only a few years away from doing
some serious porking up. These chicks are too young to be that
undefined in the arms. Doesn't anyone give hand jobs anymore? WTF?
*Bonus bizarro story – when I was in grade 8, I was at a house party
and was under the effects of LSD. I hooked up (somehow) with a chick
(Amy…she had a full-on woman rack in grade 8) and she ended up going
yanky on my wanky behind a couch. Long story short, I kept getting
mentally sidetracked due to the acid (was is that over there? Did
something just move? Look at the colors!) so she basically had to
start tugging from scratch about 10 times…about 45 minutes later (no
joke) I "finished". She had to switch arms so many times it was scary.
*That*, my friends, keeps those arms from looking like the arms
pictured above. The only words I remember Amy ever saying…ever…is
"Does cum come out of sweaters?" as she approached her friends in the
kitchen immediately after our tug-fest. No idea what happened to her,
but I should try to recall her last name and see if she's down with a
45-minute rub fest.
Chick 4 - Hell ya! I'll take chick #4 b/c I think she's got a cute and
innocent face. She reminds me very much of my nephews wife. Mmmmmm…she
is so hot (his wife, not picture chick) I was mentally banging that
even as she walked down the aisle. My nephew, a decent-at-best looking
dude, won the booty lottery. This chick looks like her, so she's my
#1.
Chick 5 – I'd go there for the crazy factor. She looks squirrely as
all hell. Judging by the psycho killer look in her eyes, I'd say she's
mentally trapped in a world of shrill baby screams and deafening
basslines. I dig that. She's an animal. Seems tall, but hard to gauge
in this picture. Doesn't matter. She's better than options 1-3, not as
good as 4 or 6.
Chick 6 – Nothing super special or anything, but I'd go there for
sure. She looks like she's got money. She looks like she drives a new
VW rabbit (HS grad gift from the folks) with a plate that says
"4DABRAT" or something. Gag me with a spoon.
________________________
[Ed. Note: This was followed by a brief exchange about how girl #3
may have been tracking the number of drinks she'd had on her arm and
someone mentioned how you're "supposed" to do 21 shots on your
birthday. Craig stepped in to say that was seriously wrong, because
your BA level would probably be about .4 or something outrageous after
doing 21 shots. Below is Joe's reply:
________________________
Yabut...
Posted on December 7, 2004 at 02:40:55 PM by Joe Mama
I doubt it's 21 actual shot shot type of shots. No 21 y.o. chick is
knocking back 21 shots of JD or anything.
It's those faggy, fruity bar shots that are 10% vodka and 90% juice
and have names like "Blazing sex on the hood of a Pinto parked by the
beach on fire". Gay (Not the NTTAWWT kind of gay, but "gay" gay) shots
made for chicks so they can say "I drank 21 shooters and didn't die".
Find me a 21 y.o. chick who can knock back 21 shots of Tequilla and
you've found me my next wife.
posted by Salomé at 6:28 PM
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