New Material
Well, it's been almost a month, so I figured that some of the new stuff had enough age on it to be postable.
So here you go.
This is JM's response to some conservative propaganda about Canada. We've all heard those viscious rumors about how the Canadian health system may be free but it sucks because it takes forever to get an appointment. Guess what? We don't have national healthcare here in the good ol' U S of A, and it still takes three months to get an appointment unless you are literally dying. Right that minute. Then it only takes hours. But I digress...
My name is Joe Mama, and Reg is a dimwit with bogus stats.
Posted on December 6, 2005 at 01:28:36 PM by Joe Mama
"I am allowed to skydive and smoke, but I am not allowed to drive
without a seat belt."
Aren't there States where driving w/o a belt is a fine? Serious
question on my part.
"All the money I make up until mid July must go to paying taxes."
This is wrong. You say below that a third of your salary is taken in
tax so wouldn't you be working until the end of April (should you
choose to look at it that way at all) to pay your taxes? Also, I
suggest you contribute to your RRSP's ASAP!
"I condemn the Americans for being warmongers, yet I sleep well
knowing that they will protect me in the end."
Protect you from whom, exactly?
"95% of my nation's international conflicts are over fish."
You say that like it is a bad thing? Should we have a holy war or something?
"I believe that paying a 200% tax on alcohol is fair. I believe that
the same tax on gasoline is also fair."
The price at the pump reflects a tax of about 49%, not 200%. Alcohol
is about 70%. Quit making shit up, you hoser.
"Even if I have no idea what happened to that old rifle my grandfather
gave me when I was 14, I will be considered a criminal if I don't
register it."
I do not believe this to be true. I know the gun registry is a failure
but I don't think your statement is technically accurate.
"I often badmouth the United States and then vacation there three times a year."
Only a very small percentage of Canucks vacation in the US 3 times a
year, and do you really think those are the ones "badmouthing"
America? I suspect those who dislike America for whatever reasons are
vacationing in the Caribbean.
"I believe spending $15 billion to promote the French language in the
rest of Canada is fair even when the province of Quebec doesn't
support or recognize the English language."
No argument here, Reg!
"I believe that paying $288,200 to the Prime Minister so he can
continue to ruin this country after losing an important vote in
Parliament is fair, and paying $10 an hour to someone who works 12
hour shifts at forty below on an oil rig is also fair."
Three things:
1) Welcome to capitalism Reg! Guess what – a CEO makes more than a
plumber. Are you familiar with job evaluations? The NOC? Check it out
sometime between sled expeditions.
2) According to the 2004 data, the lowest paid employee aboard an
Alberta oil rig is a Leasehand who makes $20/h base. Drillers make
$36. Floorhands, Derrickhands and Motorhands make between $24 and
$31/h. Even trainees make about $15/h. Oh, and that's not even
mentioning the $40/day 'isolation pay' earned for being stuck in
buttfuck Alberta somewhere.
3) All of your data is surrendering to me! [I suspect only Rob will
get this joke...]
"I believe that paying $30 million for 3 Stripes ("The Voice of Fire")
by the National Art Gallery was a good purchase, even though 99% of
this country didn't want it or will ever see it."
And no other country has paid a shit load to furnish their National
Art Gallery. This is an exclusively Canadian thing. Also, more than 1%
of the population will see it, FWIW. I guaran-fucking-tee you that
more than 300 thousand Canucks are going to see The Voice of Fire.
"When I look at my pay stub and realize that I take home a third of
what I actually make, I say "Oh well, at least we have better health
care than the Americans." Then I wait a week to see my doctor about
these tension headaches."
A week! You have to wait a week! Dear G-d man! I thought Saddam's Iraq
was misery on Earth but then I found out you had to wait a week! I
suppose you could go to any of the numerous walk-in clinics around the
country which will see anyone for anything within an hour or two, but
instead why don't you cry about waiting a whole week. It isn't like
your foot got cut off – we have free "emergency" rooms for things like
that.
"I must bail out farmers when their crops are too wet or too dry
because I control the rain."
Again, exclusively Canadian?
"I must attend my daughter's 'Winter Festival' because 'Christmas'
Concerts are no longer permitted."
None of this going on in the States, thank G-d!
"I must say 'partner' instead of 'boyfriend' to my daughter because
presuming that she is heterosexual is inappropriate."
You mustn't do anything you don't want to do, Reg, this is the first
I've ever, ever heard of anything like this. Total fiction. Does your
daughter lick clam? Then she's got a partner. Does she suck dick? Then
she's got a boyfriend. It's really quite simple Reg.
"My national anthem has versions in both official languages and I
don't know either of them."
Don't know the words to the Anthem in either language or don't know
either English or French, period?
"Canada is the highest taxed nation in North America, the biggest
military buffer for the United States, and the number one destination
for fleeing terrorists."
Last time I counted there were only 3 countries in North America: one
is fucking Mexico where everyone with dinars [inside joke] gets
kidnapped; and the other charges you an arm and a leg if you break
your arm and a leg.
Fleeing terrorists? Fleeing from whom? You mean the guys in the Anbar
province are fleeing to Canada? Are you sure about this?
"My name is Reg, and I am Canadian and I am broke."
Reg, my name is Joe Mama and I, too, am Canadian and from one hoser to
another you need to quit whining, assclown. Per the UN, Canada was
ranked the 5th-most desirable place on the planet in which to live,
you ungrateful fuckstick.
___________________
N.B.: We love Joe Mama.
So here you go.
This is JM's response to some conservative propaganda about Canada. We've all heard those viscious rumors about how the Canadian health system may be free but it sucks because it takes forever to get an appointment. Guess what? We don't have national healthcare here in the good ol' U S of A, and it still takes three months to get an appointment unless you are literally dying. Right that minute. Then it only takes hours. But I digress...
My name is Joe Mama, and Reg is a dimwit with bogus stats.
Posted on December 6, 2005 at 01:28:36 PM by Joe Mama
"I am allowed to skydive and smoke, but I am not allowed to drive
without a seat belt."
Aren't there States where driving w/o a belt is a fine? Serious
question on my part.
"All the money I make up until mid July must go to paying taxes."
This is wrong. You say below that a third of your salary is taken in
tax so wouldn't you be working until the end of April (should you
choose to look at it that way at all) to pay your taxes? Also, I
suggest you contribute to your RRSP's ASAP!
"I condemn the Americans for being warmongers, yet I sleep well
knowing that they will protect me in the end."
Protect you from whom, exactly?
"95% of my nation's international conflicts are over fish."
You say that like it is a bad thing? Should we have a holy war or something?
"I believe that paying a 200% tax on alcohol is fair. I believe that
the same tax on gasoline is also fair."
The price at the pump reflects a tax of about 49%, not 200%. Alcohol
is about 70%. Quit making shit up, you hoser.
"Even if I have no idea what happened to that old rifle my grandfather
gave me when I was 14, I will be considered a criminal if I don't
register it."
I do not believe this to be true. I know the gun registry is a failure
but I don't think your statement is technically accurate.
"I often badmouth the United States and then vacation there three times a year."
Only a very small percentage of Canucks vacation in the US 3 times a
year, and do you really think those are the ones "badmouthing"
America? I suspect those who dislike America for whatever reasons are
vacationing in the Caribbean.
"I believe spending $15 billion to promote the French language in the
rest of Canada is fair even when the province of Quebec doesn't
support or recognize the English language."
No argument here, Reg!
"I believe that paying $288,200 to the Prime Minister so he can
continue to ruin this country after losing an important vote in
Parliament is fair, and paying $10 an hour to someone who works 12
hour shifts at forty below on an oil rig is also fair."
Three things:
1) Welcome to capitalism Reg! Guess what – a CEO makes more than a
plumber. Are you familiar with job evaluations? The NOC? Check it out
sometime between sled expeditions.
2) According to the 2004 data, the lowest paid employee aboard an
Alberta oil rig is a Leasehand who makes $20/h base. Drillers make
$36. Floorhands, Derrickhands and Motorhands make between $24 and
$31/h. Even trainees make about $15/h. Oh, and that's not even
mentioning the $40/day 'isolation pay' earned for being stuck in
buttfuck Alberta somewhere.
3) All of your data is surrendering to me! [I suspect only Rob will
get this joke...]
"I believe that paying $30 million for 3 Stripes ("The Voice of Fire")
by the National Art Gallery was a good purchase, even though 99% of
this country didn't want it or will ever see it."
And no other country has paid a shit load to furnish their National
Art Gallery. This is an exclusively Canadian thing. Also, more than 1%
of the population will see it, FWIW. I guaran-fucking-tee you that
more than 300 thousand Canucks are going to see The Voice of Fire.
"When I look at my pay stub and realize that I take home a third of
what I actually make, I say "Oh well, at least we have better health
care than the Americans." Then I wait a week to see my doctor about
these tension headaches."
A week! You have to wait a week! Dear G-d man! I thought Saddam's Iraq
was misery on Earth but then I found out you had to wait a week! I
suppose you could go to any of the numerous walk-in clinics around the
country which will see anyone for anything within an hour or two, but
instead why don't you cry about waiting a whole week. It isn't like
your foot got cut off – we have free "emergency" rooms for things like
that.
"I must bail out farmers when their crops are too wet or too dry
because I control the rain."
Again, exclusively Canadian?
"I must attend my daughter's 'Winter Festival' because 'Christmas'
Concerts are no longer permitted."
None of this going on in the States, thank G-d!
"I must say 'partner' instead of 'boyfriend' to my daughter because
presuming that she is heterosexual is inappropriate."
You mustn't do anything you don't want to do, Reg, this is the first
I've ever, ever heard of anything like this. Total fiction. Does your
daughter lick clam? Then she's got a partner. Does she suck dick? Then
she's got a boyfriend. It's really quite simple Reg.
"My national anthem has versions in both official languages and I
don't know either of them."
Don't know the words to the Anthem in either language or don't know
either English or French, period?
"Canada is the highest taxed nation in North America, the biggest
military buffer for the United States, and the number one destination
for fleeing terrorists."
Last time I counted there were only 3 countries in North America: one
is fucking Mexico where everyone with dinars [inside joke] gets
kidnapped; and the other charges you an arm and a leg if you break
your arm and a leg.
Fleeing terrorists? Fleeing from whom? You mean the guys in the Anbar
province are fleeing to Canada? Are you sure about this?
"My name is Reg, and I am Canadian and I am broke."
Reg, my name is Joe Mama and I, too, am Canadian and from one hoser to
another you need to quit whining, assclown. Per the UN, Canada was
ranked the 5th-most desirable place on the planet in which to live,
you ungrateful fuckstick.
___________________
N.B.: We love Joe Mama.
posted by Salomé at 2:03 PM
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