What can I say? It's very JM.
This started from a list of past
girlfriends that someone started. COWolverine asked 'how many?' JM
responded:
I think I've mentioned before that...
Posted on February 17, 2006 at 03:11:46 PM by Joe Mama
I made a list around the time I was graduating high school. The girl I
was dating at the time (Melissa Golbeit (not sure if I spelled her
last name right but I'm close so that's kinda romantic of me)) found
it and flipped because she was too damn close to the triple digits for
her liking. I wish I'd have kept that list. Trying to re-create it now
is like trying to re-create the Berlin Brothel story – it'll never be
nearly as good or complete as the first time I told it.
More (out of sheer Friday afternoon boredom):
I was such a loser in High School. Such a shallow prick. I'm glad I've
overcome that. I had a party once and strategically placed Trojan
Large condoms behind a clear bottle of cologne in the medicine
cabinet. Then, I left it open just enough to look sorta closed, but
not entirely. Anyone who bothered would clearly see the now magnified
XL on the jimmy package. Sweet advertising, right? Well, some chick
came out of the bathroom and called me on it – said I had placed it
there for everyone to see. Being a total scum bucket of the highest
order, I very quickly and loudly demanded to know why the hell she was
in my medicine cabinet. After all, I don't go to her house and look
though her shit. I was irate at this invasion of my privacy! My giant,
giant penis is nobody's business but my own! Worked like a charm. The
chick wasn't hot so it was no biggie. Plus, she felt awful for
invading my privacy like that. It worked too – Shelly Humphries (how a
high school girl could grow a rack like hers is beyond me) told me
that Tara (who went to the Catholic school attached to our public
school) wanted some XL action. Word of mouth is a beautiful thing. I
wish I had a son to pass this knowledge on to.
Replies:
* There's no indignation like the indignation you can summon up
when caught in a boldfaced lie.* - By jjwalker February 17, 2006 at
03:14:30 PM
girlfriends that someone started. COWolverine asked 'how many?' JM
responded:
I think I've mentioned before that...
Posted on February 17, 2006 at 03:11:46 PM by Joe Mama
I made a list around the time I was graduating high school. The girl I
was dating at the time (Melissa Golbeit (not sure if I spelled her
last name right but I'm close so that's kinda romantic of me)) found
it and flipped because she was too damn close to the triple digits for
her liking. I wish I'd have kept that list. Trying to re-create it now
is like trying to re-create the Berlin Brothel story – it'll never be
nearly as good or complete as the first time I told it.
More (out of sheer Friday afternoon boredom):
I was such a loser in High School. Such a shallow prick. I'm glad I've
overcome that. I had a party once and strategically placed Trojan
Large condoms behind a clear bottle of cologne in the medicine
cabinet. Then, I left it open just enough to look sorta closed, but
not entirely. Anyone who bothered would clearly see the now magnified
XL on the jimmy package. Sweet advertising, right? Well, some chick
came out of the bathroom and called me on it – said I had placed it
there for everyone to see. Being a total scum bucket of the highest
order, I very quickly and loudly demanded to know why the hell she was
in my medicine cabinet. After all, I don't go to her house and look
though her shit. I was irate at this invasion of my privacy! My giant,
giant penis is nobody's business but my own! Worked like a charm. The
chick wasn't hot so it was no biggie. Plus, she felt awful for
invading my privacy like that. It worked too – Shelly Humphries (how a
high school girl could grow a rack like hers is beyond me) told me
that Tara (who went to the Catholic school attached to our public
school) wanted some XL action. Word of mouth is a beautiful thing. I
wish I had a son to pass this knowledge on to.
Replies:
* There's no indignation like the indignation you can summon up
when caught in a boldfaced lie.* - By jjwalker February 17, 2006 at
03:14:30 PM
posted by Salomé at 11:11 AM
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