Let's see.... A new JM post... What should it be???

Well, there are choices. I'm looking through my files right now.

I think I have to post this, which came to me from Jack (You know that guy who defines the part of the political spectrum between Maoist and Liberal?)in an email with the subject line, "I'm cryin' here". Plus, it was posted on my birthday, which kind of makes it my birthday present.
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This came about as a response to a post asking if people would be
willing to be president of the US. Most were saying no; Jack mentioned
that he was willing but would likely be assassinated shortly before the
electoral college met...

JM, of course, is more enthusiastic than most ( half of the last
paragraph is comprised of board jokes, so it's far funnier to me...)

Hell yeah!

Posted on Salome's birthday, 2006 at 11:47:21 AM by Joe Mama

My first act would be to surrender unconditionally to Canada, who in
turn would annex the country formerly known as the United States of
America. I would now rule the continent. I don't count Mexico as part
of North America. Never have, never will. They're Central American
(North) or nothing at all.

I'd rename this great land "Camerida" and our national motto would be
"Kicking six kinds of ass since 2006!" Assuming I can have the
presidency this year, obviously. "Pour Some Sugar On Me" would be the
new anthem.

I'm working on a whole platform which would include such obvious steps
as shutting out Mexico with the "I don't fucking think so" wall which
will run from coast to coast. All crap work that needs to get done
would be handled by our fast tracking of all sexy European immigrants.
Those with nuts need not apply. Imagine fields of hot Romanian broads
sweating and picking oranges and shit. Boioioioioing!

I would legalize all drugs, naturally. I would ban all guns too. I'd
tax religion, unless someone wanted to worship me. That would actually
get a big subsidy. I would re-create the food pyramid with pussy at
the top, and replace the fruit/veggie group with bacon and steaks,
replace all fruit juices with beer. Alpo can be my Director of Dairy
products. Shumway would be imprisoned immediately. I would put Paul in
charge of my wardrobe for shits and giggles. Who's gonna fuck with me
for wearing a dogshit/eggplant combo? Nobody. American Idol would be
banished forever, and the former winners deported to anywhere else. I
would personally go out and club me a few seals each year, and I'd
promise to stop if Pamela Anderson blew me. I would not stop, however.
Never.

It would be the sexiest dictatorship ever.