About this Blog
This blog is intended as a tribute to an amazing man.
There are many people out there who feel that it is inappropriate for a woman to be willing to create such a blog. It is true that the posts it contains would probably be hightly offensive to my parents and even most women that I know. And yet, when they were originally sent to me by a regular on the Victors Message Board, I found myself both repelled and drawn to them.
It took me some time to find them humorous. Unlike some, shock value does not equate to humor for me. But over time, I began to find them funny, in the same way it took me a little while to get used to all the swearing in Deadwood. It's just a matter of what one is accustomed to.
But as I overcame my initial objections to the posts, something else happened. I began to wonder about the man writing them.
I now have quite a lot of respect for him. I am somewhat amazed by him, truth be told. I regret that I once felt disturbed by some of what he writes.
In our culture, the sexual content of many things leads to controversy. We are a prudish society. It seems almost a miracle that any of us participate in sex, given the dismay that so many express over posts like the ones in this blog.
We are a society with a gender-oriented double standard. Many men enjoy this type of humor. Many women are made uncomfortable by it. Many of the same men would look down on a woman for appreciating such humor and would not participate in such humor in front of a woman.
As a woman, such discussions of sex can make me feel unsafe when I don't know the people, men in particular, who are having them. It's a habit developed from a lifetime of dodging wolf whistles and comments about my body or my looks while minding my own business. It's a habit developed while having had to literally run from a man on the street all the way into a police station to get him to stop following me. It's a habit developed from saying no and being interpreted as saying maybe. It's a habit developed after being humiliatingly gossiped about for being open to discussing sex with male friends or simply for being attractive.
And yet, this habit, I find, has not erased my ability to continue to be openminded. I do not regret that about myself.
I will say one more thing about JM: He makes me laugh. That can never be a bad thing.
There are many people out there who feel that it is inappropriate for a woman to be willing to create such a blog. It is true that the posts it contains would probably be hightly offensive to my parents and even most women that I know. And yet, when they were originally sent to me by a regular on the Victors Message Board, I found myself both repelled and drawn to them.
It took me some time to find them humorous. Unlike some, shock value does not equate to humor for me. But over time, I began to find them funny, in the same way it took me a little while to get used to all the swearing in Deadwood. It's just a matter of what one is accustomed to.
But as I overcame my initial objections to the posts, something else happened. I began to wonder about the man writing them.
I now have quite a lot of respect for him. I am somewhat amazed by him, truth be told. I regret that I once felt disturbed by some of what he writes.
In our culture, the sexual content of many things leads to controversy. We are a prudish society. It seems almost a miracle that any of us participate in sex, given the dismay that so many express over posts like the ones in this blog.
We are a society with a gender-oriented double standard. Many men enjoy this type of humor. Many women are made uncomfortable by it. Many of the same men would look down on a woman for appreciating such humor and would not participate in such humor in front of a woman.
As a woman, such discussions of sex can make me feel unsafe when I don't know the people, men in particular, who are having them. It's a habit developed from a lifetime of dodging wolf whistles and comments about my body or my looks while minding my own business. It's a habit developed while having had to literally run from a man on the street all the way into a police station to get him to stop following me. It's a habit developed from saying no and being interpreted as saying maybe. It's a habit developed after being humiliatingly gossiped about for being open to discussing sex with male friends or simply for being attractive.
And yet, this habit, I find, has not erased my ability to continue to be openminded. I do not regret that about myself.
I will say one more thing about JM: He makes me laugh. That can never be a bad thing.
posted by Salomé at 3:05 PM
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