Get up, stand up, come on throw your hands up!
It has recently come to my attention that one of the newer board members called one of the older board members "Haji."
Here's where I draw the line.
I lived in southeast Texas as a child. There was a lot of racism there. It was hard to miss. When I was six years old and playing on a playground, I saw a boy go to a teacher and tell her that another child had called him the n word. The teacher's response was to look slightly confused and say, "Well, you are one." I was a little kid and I knew that there was something wrong with this. I knew that when kids used that word, it was a bad name. I knew it by the mocking tone it was said in. I knew it because it made my stomach hurt. I think about that episode to this day because I know how it affected me. It made me aware of race at the same moment it made me aware of racism. What I don't know is how it affected that little boy. I wonder about him, about how he grew up, about where he is and who he is right now.
I do everything in my power to avoid allowing myself the opportunity to be biased against people for things that are a part of their genetic code. Our genes are not within our control. And I'm not looking forward to the day in some potential future when humans can decide if their children will be born with their features, eye color, hair color, hair texture or be blond and blue-eyed. To me, doing away with our differences is like saying all flowers should be roses. OK, roses are nice. But I really love violets, gardenias, lavendar, buttercups, irises.... Or that all restaurants should be Taco Bell. Excuse me, I'll be starting a revolution. Where's my paint gun?
I want to address the person or persons who may have made a racial or ethnic remark on the board. Perhaps it was an innocent mistake. Maybe it seemed innocuous to you.
Let me assure you, it's not just a harmless joke.
Take a look at this: Asian plastic surgery.
Here we have proof that a whole ethnic group is going to extremes to try to look less like their ancestors and more like the other guys. Just contemplate that for a minute. There are whole plastic surgery practices that cater to this kind of surgery.
Suppose that you are an average attractive member of the human race. And probably you are. And then suppose that the society you live in makes you feel like you need to change some crucial aspects of your appearance. Like the already beautiful shape of your eyes, the already perfect size of your nose, the already miraculous color of your skin. And suppose this cultural pressure is so intense that you or people like you are willing to pay thousands of dollars to have someone cut your face up and manipulate it to look like some alleged "ideal." No matter how you feel about plastic surgery in general, plastic surgery to not look like a member of your own race should strike you as frightening. Don't think about it with regard to someone else's race, though. Right now, I want you to think about it with regard to your own race. With regard to you personally. Suppose that this ideal was the tall, thin Black African? Suppose that this ideal had straight, black hair and brown skin? Suppose this ideal had almond shaped eyes without a fold in the eyelids? Suppose you had to spend your entire life wondering whether everyone who looked at you was judging you because you are not that?
Those "harmless" racial epithets that you so glibly type from the anonymity of your computer keyboard help to make people feel uncomfortable in their own skins. And they don't make you look very good, either.
For what it's worth the word 'haji' refers to a Muslim who has made pilgrimmage to Mecca. I'm pretty sure that's not what you were implying, though.
How does a socially clueless person know what's ok to say and what isn't? Well, first of all, find a trusted friend, preferably not a racist, and ask. Hopefully not loudly at a restaurant or ON AN INTERNET MESSAGE BOARD. In this seemingly enlightened day and age, you might need to preface it by something like, "I'm not sure what the politically correct ethnic name is for someone of .... ancestry." But here's a rule of thumb: if it's a label that has anything to do with race and you don't know for a fact that it's okay to use, then just DON'T. FUCKING. SAY. IT. If you are saying it with regard to the person's race or ethnicity, even if you think it won't be offensive, think twice. Self-censorship is useful in this situation. Because why do you need to call anyone a name, even out of anger or frustration, that has anything to do with their ancestry? It is not their ancestry but their actions which might be bothering you. Why don't you just call them a name that has to do with their personal problem? Dickhead, for example. There's a good name.
And if you are saying it about someone else, it's going to be equally offensive. Because what it says about you is that you are willing to judge people for something besides WHO they are. It says that you are not tolerant. And those of us, the increasing majority of the world, who are somewhat more enlightened will not want to be around you.
What really gets me about this whole situation is that the internet, being anonymous for the most part, is an equalizer. It allows you to get to know people for who they are, not what they are. But somehow you managed to take your prejudice all the way through hundreds of miles of distance and your own computer screen and this Victard's to attack him about an ethnicity that you can only imagine. This strikes me as a rather serious problem.
My suggestion is that you seek immediate help.
Here's where I draw the line.
I lived in southeast Texas as a child. There was a lot of racism there. It was hard to miss. When I was six years old and playing on a playground, I saw a boy go to a teacher and tell her that another child had called him the n word. The teacher's response was to look slightly confused and say, "Well, you are one." I was a little kid and I knew that there was something wrong with this. I knew that when kids used that word, it was a bad name. I knew it by the mocking tone it was said in. I knew it because it made my stomach hurt. I think about that episode to this day because I know how it affected me. It made me aware of race at the same moment it made me aware of racism. What I don't know is how it affected that little boy. I wonder about him, about how he grew up, about where he is and who he is right now.
I do everything in my power to avoid allowing myself the opportunity to be biased against people for things that are a part of their genetic code. Our genes are not within our control. And I'm not looking forward to the day in some potential future when humans can decide if their children will be born with their features, eye color, hair color, hair texture or be blond and blue-eyed. To me, doing away with our differences is like saying all flowers should be roses. OK, roses are nice. But I really love violets, gardenias, lavendar, buttercups, irises.... Or that all restaurants should be Taco Bell. Excuse me, I'll be starting a revolution. Where's my paint gun?
I want to address the person or persons who may have made a racial or ethnic remark on the board. Perhaps it was an innocent mistake. Maybe it seemed innocuous to you.
Let me assure you, it's not just a harmless joke.
Take a look at this: Asian plastic surgery.
Here we have proof that a whole ethnic group is going to extremes to try to look less like their ancestors and more like the other guys. Just contemplate that for a minute. There are whole plastic surgery practices that cater to this kind of surgery.
Suppose that you are an average attractive member of the human race. And probably you are. And then suppose that the society you live in makes you feel like you need to change some crucial aspects of your appearance. Like the already beautiful shape of your eyes, the already perfect size of your nose, the already miraculous color of your skin. And suppose this cultural pressure is so intense that you or people like you are willing to pay thousands of dollars to have someone cut your face up and manipulate it to look like some alleged "ideal." No matter how you feel about plastic surgery in general, plastic surgery to not look like a member of your own race should strike you as frightening. Don't think about it with regard to someone else's race, though. Right now, I want you to think about it with regard to your own race. With regard to you personally. Suppose that this ideal was the tall, thin Black African? Suppose that this ideal had straight, black hair and brown skin? Suppose this ideal had almond shaped eyes without a fold in the eyelids? Suppose you had to spend your entire life wondering whether everyone who looked at you was judging you because you are not that?
Those "harmless" racial epithets that you so glibly type from the anonymity of your computer keyboard help to make people feel uncomfortable in their own skins. And they don't make you look very good, either.
For what it's worth the word 'haji' refers to a Muslim who has made pilgrimmage to Mecca. I'm pretty sure that's not what you were implying, though.
How does a socially clueless person know what's ok to say and what isn't? Well, first of all, find a trusted friend, preferably not a racist, and ask. Hopefully not loudly at a restaurant or ON AN INTERNET MESSAGE BOARD. In this seemingly enlightened day and age, you might need to preface it by something like, "I'm not sure what the politically correct ethnic name is for someone of .... ancestry." But here's a rule of thumb: if it's a label that has anything to do with race and you don't know for a fact that it's okay to use, then just DON'T. FUCKING. SAY. IT. If you are saying it with regard to the person's race or ethnicity, even if you think it won't be offensive, think twice. Self-censorship is useful in this situation. Because why do you need to call anyone a name, even out of anger or frustration, that has anything to do with their ancestry? It is not their ancestry but their actions which might be bothering you. Why don't you just call them a name that has to do with their personal problem? Dickhead, for example. There's a good name.
And if you are saying it about someone else, it's going to be equally offensive. Because what it says about you is that you are willing to judge people for something besides WHO they are. It says that you are not tolerant. And those of us, the increasing majority of the world, who are somewhat more enlightened will not want to be around you.
What really gets me about this whole situation is that the internet, being anonymous for the most part, is an equalizer. It allows you to get to know people for who they are, not what they are. But somehow you managed to take your prejudice all the way through hundreds of miles of distance and your own computer screen and this Victard's to attack him about an ethnicity that you can only imagine. This strikes me as a rather serious problem.
My suggestion is that you seek immediate help.
posted by Salomé at 1:33 PM
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